~*~
ah….i have been waiting on this one. :]
…i was still in that dark night of the soul…but God was working in my and Romancing me and Loving me… and even though i didn’t realize it at the time…He was not just pruning away parts of me that were “grievous” was it says in the psalms…(well one psalm in particular, that i have in mind), He was pruning people, places…and my state of mind from my life. so that new things from His hand would be of abundance in my life…as opposed to the things that I had labored over. mercies, joys, and adventures from His hand…
i was hurting SO BAD…but giving Him my heart all along, practically because there was no one else around that seemed interested in sharing my pains with me (i’m referring to friends. dudes had become totally irrelevant to me.). i was hurting, heart broken, and feeling very alone… and because of that glorious Dark Night…He alone healed me, He showed me what my heart was truly made of…and for….and He was my True Comfort, Friend, and Romancer….
wow. have a mentioned before…that this Dude knows what’s up? God is so good. 
~*~
june 21, 2006:
the vinedresser picked his last grape, climbed down the ladder, and smiled to himself. he gathered up his final net and emptied it into the last bin filling it to its rim. he laid back against the tree and let his eyes rest on the row of bins overflowing with grapes…and his heart swelled as he watched the grapes change from a deep purple to a brilliant blue as the sun slowly slipped beyond the horizon…filling the sky with an extravagant swirl of oranges, reds, and warm pinks. every second that the sun moved lower the colors became deeper, and the warm colors faded to deep, rich purples that magnificently entangled with the clouds. the day had been good. sun up to sun down. yes, he could let the hired hands do all the work and just run his business…but wine tastes better when you’ve picked the grapes yourself. if anyone knows this, he does. from experience. he took in a deep breath and the smell of a day’s hard work filled his mind and danced around…the smell of deep, sweet purple. he had put his heart, his passion, his life into the rows of trees that surrounded him. and it was all worth it, this moment had been worth it, these moments are always worth it.
i’m being pruned…so that i may bear more fruit. right now, He’s been working sun up to sun down and now into the night. when this is over and the sun comes back, spilling light into this canyon, He’ll lay back and delight in the passionate work He’s done. but until then…i beg of You….place that faith in me that can move mountains, the kind that produces steadfastness. so that i ‘may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.’ (james 1.4). wow…really. perfect and complete, lacking nothing? You’d do that for me? You love me that much? sometimes i forget what Wild Love feels like. it scares me when You come too close and i hide my face…spill your Light into the places where darkness tries to hide. lead me into the garden. let me take in You’re rich smell, give me strength. so that when all of this is over i can look back and say ‘yes, it was worth it.’ …and thank you for the big clouds…that make me feel so small and remind me that your hand is so so big.
I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser…and every branch that does bear fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit…I am the vine and you are the branches. whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. …these things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full john 15.1-11
