oh how i have longed to put my words to something real. wood pulp pressed together into something i can hold. something i can touch. so that no matter how crazy all of this feels, it connects to something real that can neither judge nor tell me all of the answers i already know. what good does it do to know when the bit of knowledge that fills my mind won’t translate into the much needed nourishing wisdom that my heart is slowly dying away without?
i have pushed away my constant desire to disentangle these loud and insistent circles of thoughts and snarled selfish emotions simply because i still lie in defeat. i have no Triumph to finale with. no Help to sweep in and save me as i lay in this desperate state… deep into the rayless, dark night. i am deep in the canyon, so far that even the stars’ light have lost their way to my sight. my Savior rushes in, exuding Bright Love and Pure Shinning Grace, to sweep me into His arms and surround me with Light… i dumbly blink at this grand display, my arms lifeless at my side unwilling, or at least unable, to reach up.
i KNOW He is there. and i KNOW everything will turn out as it should. but that assurance just won’t translate into Faith in my heart.
who wants to read about nothing but defeat? i dream of sharing passion and joy and hope through connections made with my words strung together in just the right fashion. but what to do with words that leave sadness, shadows, and fear? Fear. Fear is a lethal noun in the wrong Hands…when i allow it to dwell in my being it transposes into a verb that steals all i have left. when i give way to fear, i offer up my peace and rest as a sacrifice to pessimism and a path, worn down by those that chose to tread where the Enemy rules (whether unsuspecting or intentional).
this is pure hopelessness if the source of strength that i need is myself. but this is not the case… just as He gave me the wisdom to know that He is always there and that all things ultimately work to Good for those who love Him, He gives me the Strength to Trust in Him in the midst of the torrent of destruction that ensues throughout this treacherous storm… amidst the ferocious winds and ravenous lightening, His Strength—poured into me—overflows into an Everlasting Provision of Peace, Understanding, and Joy. i do have strength and peace that will overcome this merciless Valley of Trouble, but it is not mine to claim. this Peace and Strength are most extravagant and powerful when my weakness and need to have control are understood and cast aside… cast aside to make way for the True Forms of Peace and Strength. and from these forms flows the Peace and Strength that will protect me in the midst of the strom, and carry me out of this valley.
Peace that passes understanding
Strength that swallows up Death with Life
praise Him…for always stepping in on Time, in Perfect Time! and for sustaining me until it is Time…His Time, His Plan, His Adventure… how silly of me to not get it by now. how silly of me forget that His Plan is always better.
God ALWAYS makes a way, even if it isn’t the path you’d planned to trod! He has ENGRAVED our names in the palms of His hands!!! He NEVER forgets us, ALWAYS remembers, CONSTANTLY pursues, OVERFLOWS with Grace, is ABUNDANT with True Love, and PLANS with more adventure, mystery, and extravagance than we can dream!
through Him, this merciless Valley of Trouble is transformed into a Door of Hope…full of Mercies far better and truer than anything i could even dream up.
now faith is the assurance of things hoped for,
the conviction of things not seen.
hebrews. 11.1
for when i am weak,
then i am strong.
2 corinthians. 12.10
likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness….
and we know that for those who love God all things
work together for Good, for those who are called
according to His Purpose.
romans. 26,28
“can a woman forget her nursing child,
that she should have no compassion
on the son of her womb?
even these may forget,
yet I will not forget you.
behold, I have engraved you
on the Palms of My Hands;
your walls are continually before Me.
your builders make haste; your destroyers
and those who laid you waste go out from you.
isaiah. 49.15-17
“therefore, behold, I will allure her,
and bring her into the wilderness,
and speak tenderly to her. and there l
will give her her vineyards and make the
VALLEY OF TROUBLE a DOOR OF HOPE
…and I will betroth you to Me forever. I will betroth you to
Me in Righteousness and in Justice, in Steadfast Love and
in Mercy. I will betroth you to me in Faithfulness. and you
shall know the Lord “
…and I will have Mercy on No Mercy
and I will say to Not My People, ‘you are my people’;
and he shall say, ‘You are my God.’”
hosea. 2.14-15,19,23
